Note to Self

Episode 3

I am always worried about not knowing enough, or making a mistake because I hadn’t investigated something thoroughly enough, it is the bane of being a generalist and of having fairly deep rooted imposter syndrome.

I’ve written about both of these things in the past and don’t think that I need to rehash them here, but I did want to explore the need to learn / know more a little more.

I think my desire to learn stems not just out of curiosity, a passion for reading and a broad enjoyment of many different topics, but also from boredom.

This is also one of the reasons I have ended up such a generalist. When everything excites you a little, nothing excites you a lot.

This is why I pepper my way through subject matter, courses, books or articles but never pick up a second or third, potentially more detailed, source and keep going.

I like to scratch at the surface, gain insight and move on. I don’t like to dwell and delve so deep that I can’t find my way back out again.

I would find the thought of doing a PhD quite daunting (not that it isn’t daunting in any case) just from the fact that I would need to dedicate myself to one thing, to explore a thread to its root, to its origin forsaking everything else for it.