My humblest of apologies folks, but the title of this piece should probably have read something like 10 Headlines in 10 Words or Less
Sorry to disappoint, but I needed to grab your attention for a second and I’ve heard that clickbait seems to do the trick. Can’t argue with the data. (Disclaimer: I haven’t actually looked at the data, I’m too lazy for that).
This is just my playful take on the era of the listicle — hope you like it!
WARNING: This article includes some truths (also known as reverse alternative facts), not for the weak of fortitude or those unable to take a joke (you know who you are).
1. How I Made Tens of Thousands of Dollars, and How You Can Too!!!
I finished school. Then I got a job
2. The Amazing Things I Learned From Waking Up Before 5 a.m. Every Day
I need ten hours, turn off that damned alarm
3. These Incredible Secret Life Hacks will Make You Massively Popular
Be a nice person, don’t be a bitch. Listen.
4. How I Learned Everything About Business in Ten Steps
Moved to PNG for 10 years. 1–10 Worked arse off
5. This Simple Advice will Mean You’ll Never Have to Raise from VCs Again!
Don’t spend shitloads of money. Build a profitable business.
6. You Won’t Believe How I Shed 20 Pounds, FAST!
Denied myself crappy food and moved as much as possible
7. Do This and You’ll Have Enough Money to Retire On!
Save. Invest. Repeat. DO NOT Spend all your money.
8. The Shocking Truths the Politicians Don’t Want You to Know Revealed
They’re making it up as they go along
9. This is the Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage!
Stop setting alarm to 5, hitting snooze when it sounds
10. How I Gained 100s of Readers EVERY MONTH on Medium!
Write. Write again. Write some more. Write more often.
Well there you go folks, hope you’ve learned something, now get out there and get doing, don’t miss my next post: 5 Reasons to Stop Giving a Fuck in 2017 (actually there’s 1 really big one)